Feelings vs. Actions in times of Conflict

I had a major breakthrough with a person I had been arguing with. I caught this person mumbling and asked what they were requesting.

“I am asking god to help me find the words”

I told them I was looking to be validated.

Person X replied that they wanted me to be happy but did not want to validate things I was upset about. X said that they felt obligated to steer me in the right direction.

I then saw a very clear and precise distinction. They wanted to comment on my actions and I was talking about my feelings.

I said, “So if you need to find the words then ask yourself if I am sharing feelings with you or my reaction to my feelings. I cannot control the way I feel. And it really presses my buttons when you argue my emotions”.

I told X that I am in fact open to discussing actions and strategies but the emotions only multiply when I am asked to “get over it”.

If we knew how to get over things we probably wouldn’t be such a vibrant and self-expressed society. Sometimes I feel like I am in constant states of recovery. If any type of energy is being used I need to decompress from it.

I am happy with my breakthrough!

I hope you find ways to have major breakthroughs in your communication with people because I cannot be the only one who is looking.


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