It happened again. I went to a meditation group yesterday morning and started crying during meditation. This hasn’t happened to me in a year.
Interestingly enough, the thing that triggered my tears was a certain type of music that did not agree with me. The music was almost violent in nature. I found it disturbing and parts of it reminded me of terrible memories I would not like to be reminded of.
It is important that I let go of memories that are weighing me down. So I suppose releasing some frustration can only lead to me feeling lighter.
When I reflect on my life as a whole I know I have a lot of great amazing wonderful moments to be grateful for. At the same time, my realization this week is that if our emotions weigh us down, it can feel like we don’t have much to be thankful for. Our emotions can create a whole different story. Only perspective can let a different narrative take over. Only perspective can help my emotions bring me a wave of peace, serenity, and hope.
I’m still figuring it all out but I guess I need to resource positive emotions. I went several weeks feeling really good and now it feels like I am coming down from a high. I feel exhausted and my brain is fried. Perhaps I’m burnt out from trying to make the stars align.
Friday I took a mental health day. I went to a free art museum with my friend. We also had a great lunch and did some shopping. I made sure to not reply to emails until today. It felt good to just be out and about with some company. The rest of my weekend however was terrible.
I have been putting some pressure on myself to really enjoy my weekends. My weeks have been filled with so much activity that I am probably expecting too much out of two days.
Not sure what the answer is on how to recover. I know the root problem is a sense of hopelessness. Inspiration, where you at?
In the meantime, I trust you will find your way to positive emotions because I cannot be the only one who is looking.