In 2006 my favorite literature professor asked me if I was a singer. She told me that I have a very nice speaking voice and encouraged me to take voice lessons. While I have been taking lessons for some time, I was thinking about quitting after making so many mistakes last week.
I still practiced because I promised my voice teacher I would. Now today is the day I can add Italian Opera Singer to my resume. With a little bit of confidence, lots of practice, & breath support I now have a vibrato (vibration in my voice) that is coming out naturally/more consistently.
I’ll be honest, I was very cranky during the holidays because my throat hurt like hell from all of my failed attempts. But feeling the joy I felt today for finally mastering something so difficult was worth the wait. Thank you Rekha for your enthusiasm and belief in me. You planted a fantastic seed that has helped restore confidence in myself years after our initial two-minute conversation.
Work/Life Balance: Have you ever watched the show Heroes? Their main villain, Skylar always freaked me out, but the concept of where he got his energy from is simple. For years this character fixed clocks. He had a knack for listening to a watch and knowing exactly what it needed to function to its best capability once again.
When I mastered my first Italian opera song earlier this week, it was like adding oil to the wheels in my brain. I have been flowing with ideas and confidence since Tuesday night. Please understand in context earlier this week I experienced massive rejection. First on Sunday night, again on Monday morning, and once more on Tuesday morning. My spirit was very low.
My surprise lesson was about why work/life balance is so important. I got renewed energy and a leap in confidence from my singing breakthrough- two unexpected benefits just by doing something fun for myself.
Vacation Guilt: On Wednesday I decided to take a day off from my job hunting. The job search as you know can be a full-time job itself! The guilt that I acquired was not new to me. It took a lot of rewiring of me not opening my computer every time I wanted to send an email or go on linkedin. A group meditation I attended a few months ago talked about letting go of acquired guilt. With everything I did on Wednesday I tried to be in the moment and also reassure myself that what I was doing was not wrong. The main thought that kept creeping up was that I would lose momentum if I rested.
Suddenly I remembered the last time I felt burn-out. My mentors at the time urged me to get some sleep. They saw emails from me at odd hours of the night. When I told them I had to keep going, they said that if I didn’t rest their wouldn’t be much of a functioning me left to stay in for the long-haul.
Self-Love & Love of the Arts: The best part about my Tuesday night accomplishment was that I felt like I was in love. There is no better feeling in the world when you have a crush or are falling in love. It always sounded a bit odd to me when people talked about loving yourself. Now I know how fantastic it is!
I forgot to mention that I also went to my writing group after singing. For the last three months I have only been writing in isolation not sharing my work. By attending the group I heard laughter when reading my ten minute response to a prompt about “being chased by the police”. Talk about instant gratification!
Community of Yogis: The yogic way is to find spiritual growth on your own. The truth is we all really need each other. For me personally my work/life balance is a collaboration of being with my own thoughts at times, and being with other people. The reset button is usually positive interaction from another person and then I feel like I can accomplish anything on my own. Really glad my yoga teacher had “the community tree pose” in her class. Nancy always told us that we all need each other to function in the world. So the most solitary activity of “stilling my mind” is where I learned the positive influence of community? My mind is blown!
Meditation Revelation: During my mediation this morning I realized how much the pain of the past has held me back. Reviewing the cruelty I experienced from bullying since pre-school and the places I have felt stuck, I always felt limited. Even in my interactions with people this week, I found myself pulling back. It was like I was too shy to fully enjoy other people’s company. My fear of course is that every cruel thing said about me was true. Just like compliments can stick with us and last a lifetime, some mean comments were really shading the light I wasn’t letting fully in.
I hope I can lift 1000% of the pain from the past. This week was a glimpse of how my future is Unlimited! (In addition to Italian Opera I’m also singing the song Unlimited from Broadway’s Wicked, Stay by Rihanna, My Heart Will Go On from Titanic, and Can You Feel The Love Tonight from The Lion King).
My plan to lift the pain is to:
*Continue being present from moment to moment
* Do as many creative activities as possible
*Work-out to release stress- I love zumba and kickboxing!
*Take vacations- not just talk about them:)
*And keep watching inspirational videos like this one about being blown off http://www.marieforleo.com/2014/01/getting-blown-off/
The cherry on the sundae this week? A contact I have been coaching on interview skills just landed her first job out of grad school. In just two weeks of working with me, she said she felt so much more relaxed in her interviews. I feel we all have the ability to achieve what we want. It’s just a matter of securing the structure to gain the skills required for the task at hand, and then marketing that experience in the way that makes sense to the person we are seeking a partnership from.
Need a Coach?: Know somebody who needs job coaching? Want to write a book or complete another creative project but need structure to finish it? E-mail me at email@example.com and let’s see if we can work together. Maybe I’m not finding my dream job, because the obvious is to keep finding wonderful people to motivate.
If you consider yourself non-creative I hope you find a teacher that proves you wrong. I hope you find ways to incorporate fun activities in your life.
I hope you find ways to lift & eradicate the pain of the past because I cannot be the only one who is looking.