For the last few years I have been learning a lot of new skills. It has been a battle to find enough patience with myself but I feel I have made strides. I have been reading about and practicing Love and Kindness mediation and yoga.
I feel a dramatic difference in the way I adapt to change, just by implementing positive self-talk, and by reminding myself it takes time to learn new skills, tasks, and grasp new ideas.
The most painful experience when learning new skills, is feeling the frustration from my teachers and cohorts.
When I learned that the two most important ideals in people’s lives were to feel loved and competent a bright light bulb went off in my head.
If my teacher and cohorts aren’t creating a safe space for me to learn or adjusting to what I need/ask for, it hinders my learning dramatically.
What’s the solution?: This is when we need to remember there are like-minded people out there like us.
Why is it the solution?: Finding like-minded people is what makes me feel less lonely in the world. It makes my way of thinking seem less off the charts, and more on point. It makes my way of understanding and comprehension seem normal and uncomplicated.
Do it yourself: I often remind myself that my confusion is temporary. It takes most people three months to pick up something new and one year to feel like they have reached the first level of mastery.
How to find like-minded people: When I was on the plane a few days ago, my orange juice started tipping towards me. The woman next to me saw it and I caught it just in time. I told her how thankful I was to find such a thoughtful person. Inside I felt relief to find someone out there in the world who was thoughtful and kind. This woman was a complete stranger and she still managed to create a safe space for me. I’m so grateful and told her so.
So the how is 1) When you are in front of someone who makes you feel anything other than whole, remind yourself it’s temporary. 2) Remember that for everyone one thoughtless person, there are ten thoughtful people around the corner 3) Make a list of activities you love doing/subjects you love studying and join a group of people with the same interest.
Who gathers like-minded people? Meet-up.com has a ton of great groups. You can search by interest, location, and even start your own! Your local library probably has a few groups too. I joined my local writing group and felt so at home. And remember there are conferences and festivals on most every topic out there! Sometimes I go to art fairs and ask the vendors if they have classes because I love art so much! And finally townships have a ton of classes. Most townships have a community education program including cooking classes, art, music, fitness, computer/tech, and dancing!
I hope you find like-minded people who make you feel included, loved by society, and who celebrate your high competency because I cannot be the only one who is looking.