When people assess you, they either see your character or they view you as a caricature.
I often get compared to Mindy Kaling, which deeply offends me because I’m not being asked who Mindy is to me nor am I being accurately represented for my true self.
If I was being compared to Mindy for my comedy writing or my career aspirations (aka my competency), it would be one thing. But it’s not. People who barely know me say it because of my appearance and the pitch of my voice they choose to hear at the moment.
If they bothered to ask, they would know that there is only ONE Vera Mindy Kaling. She is not me. She is my focal point. She is paving the way so that others like her can come up. She is my teacher. Those of you who know how sacred a guru and student relationship is to me know that I don’t say these words lightly or give a celebrity I don’t know that kind of weight in my life.
If you’re really paying attention to my worth and operating system–and if you must pull from the NBC catalog of creators and creations–you would know that I have Leslie Knope-level energy.
Mindy hearted my tweet!!
Leave Mindy alone. None of us know the path she walks or the lines she has to toe being the first Indian American show-runner. I have not walked in her shoes. If you must compare me to her, at least do it for the right reasons of our shared character, not because you are too lazy to really pay attention to the intention and precision I show up with day in and day out.
Let’s stop comparing people to anyone because you don’t know how the person you are referencing has been internalized by yourself or that other person.
Instead, let’s let everyone have enough space to be their own divine selves and step into the majesty of their own being without the limitations of our minds.
If you hear pieces of Mindy in my voice, I’ll do some vocal exercises until you hear the voice I’ve been trying to form for you and myself before we even knew who this darling teacher of mine was.
What does South Asian identity mean to me? It means that you and I could spend a lifetime on earth not really understanding this answer, unless we continue to give all women and men of color a platform to explore, edit, delete, and see what sticks to the wall until we form that point of view and straight line. It means finally using my hashtag #EquityinStorytelling and asking all walks of life to rally behind stories of people who look nothing like them. If you haven’t watched Insecure, for example, you should. In my humble opinion as a consumer of various stories, it’s the best example of Black culture showing you what it is and what it’s not with the platform given. If you have more examples of content you care about, I want to hear about it!
The pledge below was co-written by me and Susan Waldman, Membership Director of NAMIC National and can be signed here.
Pledge:
“I promise to support stories from all multi-ethnic communities. When I experience great programming and storytelling that is reflective of the depth and breadth of the lives, spirit, and contributions of people of color, I will use the hashtag #EquityInStorytelling to spread the word. This includes but is not limited to great television, film, radio, print, publishing, podcasts, blogs, and comics.
I want to actively contribute to the development and sustainability of dynamic achievements from all walks of life.”
If you want to know more about me, I have included my very personal journal below:
My Guiding Rules of Enjoying Life:
I only partake in endeavors that unfold in a peaceful, joyful, and positive manner
I seek like-minded people and save my time for them
I believe that all people are lovable, likable, and competent
I review all of the positive things that happened in my day. When I do this as a routine, I see the cracks of light that shine through even on the bad days.
I always ask for what I want
I bless and release people, places, and things that do not serve me
I cry when I need to
I meditate when I want to
I set boundaries and respect other people’s boundaries
I believe there is a balance for making things happen and letting things happen
I tell people who I admire that I admire them
I say ‘I love you’ only when I mean it, but I say it often
I believe in experiences and pour my energy into experiential learning and fun
I know emotional courage can get me through anything
I know that when I’m down, it’s temporary
I believe nothing happens without the right and best teachers to get you there
I coach people when I can
I have the best coaches from all walks of life for more subjects than I could possibly express
I love my parents and brother and I prioritize them
I love stories and live in them
I write
I sing
I dance
I eat foods from the earth–foods with good Prana or good energy
I learn Hindu principles and teach them while respecting all faiths
I’m living my life like it’s golden because we aren’t meant to feel fear, guilt, and shame. We are supposed to create and sustain a life we love.
If I can’t love someone the way they need me to love them, I bless and release
I believe in closing conversations on a soft landing
I am as consistent as possible to show myself and others that I am trying
I know maturity happens with time
I prioritize my physical and emotional safety, even when the people close to me don’t.
My grandparents taught me everything I need to know, so I don’t stress because each lesson they have planted in me gets released in time
I love Kerala, New Jersey, and Washington DC fiercely
I know anger doesn’t walk alone
I know jealousy happens when you don’t act from a place of abundance
I believe people of color are the most beautiful and wise people on Mother Earth
I know nature can heal all
I believe in divine timing
I know that Kamala DEVI Harris was named Biden’s VP pick on the Hindu holy holiday Janamashtami
I know that I ran for President of NAMIC Capital Area after meeting Senator Kamala Harris randomly in DC. I had declined the opportunity for this leadership role the previous evening and when I saw this Tamil woman I knew I had to step up into a leadership role. IF YOU SEE IT YOU CAN BE IT. And Senator Harris you’re really someone to see.
I hope you find authentic images and stories of your people in leadership positions, stories you care about, and in the workplace, because I cannot be the only one who is looking.
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icannotbetheonlyonewhoislooking 